Friday, May 25, 2007

A quick note on the glamour of fibromyalgia

Okay, lying in bed after taking the new dose of the homeopathic remedy, I think it just makes me more exhausted, until I get up and actually I feel kind of excited so I go out to take a walk, but guess what? It only takes a block before I can hardly function, it's like there are bruises surrounding my shoulder blades, my hips hurt every time I take a step, downhill is the worst it's like whiplash or something. I'm guessing this is because I changed the lightbulb in the kitchen earlier, because it almost feels like I've sprained the muscle in between my right thumb and pointer finger, which is exactly where I had to hold the light fixture -- I knew I'd hurt afterwards, why is it still always surprising when the pain arrives?

Meanwhile, I'm at Goodwill just to be somewhere, looking at this bowl that would be perfect for steamed vegetables in the morning, before I thought maybe I could tie a plastic bag to my belt buckle so that I didn't have to use my hands to carry something home, but now that sounds painful too. Walking back home, how can three blocks feel so far? But then I'm hypoglycemic, so I decide to walk further and look for one of those post office box places, maybe there's one at the copy shop? Walking towards Union Square, it's amazing how everything changes so quickly and suddenly I'm in Iowa or Concord or wherever German tourists walk around wearing cowboy hats and US flag bandannas (oh, that would be here I guess) or somewhere else very different from downtown San Francisco, except this is downtown San Francisco I mean this part of downtown is actually for these people. I don't really like this realization, not that it hasn't hit me before but usually I don't feel so catastrophic like I'm walking around in a movie after someone turned it off. Or actually I feel this way far too often, I guess that's the problem and they don't have mailboxes at the copy shop anyway, I circle around back to the place next to a residence hotel a block-and-a-half away from me, but that place is closed. Someone is smoking pot outside, I don't know how the smoke surrounds me for a whole block on the way back but somehow that's what happens.

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