Friday, June 29, 2007

I wanted to get away; I didn't believe I ever would

I mean suddenly I'm thinking where did all this energy come from, it's 1 a.m. and suddenly I have all this energy! Then I remember: oh, this is the energy I used to live off, 13 or 14 or 15 I would wait as long as possible to eat, maybe just a little bit of Nodoz and all day would go by it wouldn't go by fast but I’d fix my hair with a big curling brush in the bathroom in between classes, then after school maybe a salad with no-cal dressing or just vinegar. I wanted my hair to keep me safe, they called it anorexia they asked what is that in your pocket? It was my brush, I was not happy to see them. I wanted it to be something more permanent like the end of their world.

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