Monday, June 04, 2007

Sleep and exhaustion, exhaustion and sleep

I can tell that I'm holding off going to the bathroom way longer than usual, I mean that's the new strategy for attempting to get a good night’s sleep -- until it almost feels like time to get up, but just in case I want to stay asleep I piss in a bottle, two bottles actually which reminds me that I need to get a bigger bottle so that I don't think about when it will overflow. That's what I'm doing now, I mean what I was just doing, before I got back underneath the covers, hugged the body pillow and adjusted my eye mask because the light was coming through and that reminds me that I need to get curtains or shades that block out all the light but this is what I'm not supposed to be thinking about. Maybe I also need a different comforter because this one is too warm it makes me sweaty, is it warm out today or is that just the comforter?

But then I know I was sleeping because I wake up, actually feel calm and I look at the clock. Does it really say 3:30?

Then as soon as I get out of bed, I crash -- I can't tell if I'm depressed that I got up so late and that's why I'm exhausted, or if I'm just exhausted.


steven said...

Mattilda? I think that you need a baby sea lion. To hug. Or maybe three of four. Surround yourself with them. I have several stuffed animals in my bed. But. One thing I have noticed: When I am involved with somebody (casual or serious), I tend to sleep better. I hope it helps.

mattilda a.k.a. matt bernstein sycamore said...

Yes, you're right -- the more sea lions the better. But as for being involved with somebody, and sleeping better -- oh, no -- during my last sexual relationship is when my sleep got so much worse, but you never know -- maybe the next one...

Love --