Tuesday, June 26, 2007

But when I'm this hypoglycemic there's nothing but regret

So many go-rounds with no end in sight, I think I need a rule that if I walk around nine times or something, and nothing’s happened, then I need to get going. Instead, it's probably been 30 go-rounds or who knows, it's hard to count, I mean I'm not counting, counting just might make it worse. Finally I’m in one of the glory hole booths with someone who has super-sweet eyes that's what I like about him, he's grabbing my dick through the hole and I'm reaching for his, super-thick in his pants I'm excited and then he walks out. I open my door a crack to see if he's coming in my booth, but no such luck, I grab for his dick out in the hall but he grabs my wrist, oh well I guess this is when I'm getting aggressive but that's really the only way a cruising space can ever get satisfying, right?

But not tonight, I mean today -- it's still only day, just eternal night in here but not the good part of night, just disinfectant and poppers and that rotten saliva smell combining with the mold in the ceiling. This is when I remember that I've always hated video booth places because no one is even attempting connection, but that's the way it feels everywhere now, I mean in all the public sex spaces and I need to master something else.

There's some older circuit type with gray hair who's hot but I guess he's not into me, when I'm getting out of the bathroom for like the 16th time someone looks really excited so I go into his booth, end up coming in his scratchy throat, oh well. Walking out, there’s someone much hotter who looks me right in the eyes, I mean I'm walking out of the bathroom now and I think he's waiting for me. But I have to leave or I'm going to lose it, then I'm on the street regretting it but when I'm this hypoglycemic there's nothing but regret.

2 comments:

Carole McDonnell said...

Mattilda:

You've got to force yourself to drink water. That's what I do. It's a battle, but water does help.

Take care. -C

mattilda a.k.a. matt bernstein sycamore said...

Hi Carole --

Thanks for the suggestion -- I drink tons and tons of water, with lemon too to balance my blood sugar, but at this particular moment that I'm describing you're actually right -- I probably was dehydrated.

Love --
mattilda