Thursday, September 27, 2007

Don't tell anyone I said this

Don't tell anyone I said this, but when I wake up and the air has cleared, there's a beautiful chilly breeze and the fog is rolling in -- yes, a lovely San Francisco fall day, really the loveliest I'm loving it in spite of the sinus headache sadness, windows smashing downstairs from some sort of renovation, oh what I'm trying to say is that I actually get excited about my mother's visit, I want her to take care of me. It's hard to say that -- I don't want to feel excited except I also want to feel whatever I'm feeling, like just writing this has already exhausted me. I'm sitting here at the computer trying to remember that feeling of excitement, now it's more like nervousness I keep looking at the phone to see if anyone's calling but remember, the phone rings when someone's calling.

My mother calls, she’s at the computer store getting printer ink for me, I'm asking her to help with errands like this, the finances plus the logistics. She's worried she's getting the wrong kind, I can tell she's worn out from the plane but luckily the air is still so fresh I just need to remember to breathe.

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