Saturday, September 29, 2007

I can tell you're really sweet

The weirdest thing happens on the phone sex line, this guy says where are you? I say downtown. He says downtown -- you think the whole world is San Francisco, don’t you? I say no, I don’t think the whole world of San Francisco. He says you think the whole world is San Francisco, you came here to be gay didn’t you? I say I didn’t come here to be gay. He says why couldn’t you stay in the town where you were from and stick it out there?

What the hell is going on? It’s true that I didn’t come here to be gay, but I did come here to be queer -- I don’t think of that in time, though. This guy is screaming at me like he’s daring me to be a man, why couldn’t I be a man and stick it out. I change my tone of voice, switch to a shrieking lisp: bitch you want my load, ooh girl my load my sweet sweet honey load? You want my luscious load in your tight hole tight tight tight hole ooh girl you want my load, don’t you? He hangs up. I’m actually really worked up, why am I so worked up? I guess it’s all these stupid people on the stupid phone sex line and why am I on this line anyway, I hate this line -- I just don’t know where to go and have good sex, can’t there be somewhere to go?

I call the line again, and there he is! Hi sweetheart, he says. Sweetheart? This time he wants to fuck me, he wants to do it the way it’s supposed to be done -- first he gets me all warmed up, then fingers, then I’m begging him. But you sound like you’re on meth, he says -- are you on meth, you’re on meth aren’t you you’re on meth I can tell you’re on meth aren’t you. I say I’m not on anything. He says you’re drinking, you sound a little loopy, I can tell you’re drinking. I say I am a little loopy, but I’m not drinking. Our time on the free line runs out and I’m spared this guy’s ranting, then a few guys who like to hang up really quick when the tiniest thing is wrong like what you want or how you say hello and then this guy is back again, he says I like your voice, I can tell you’re really sweet -- you are really sweet, aren’t you? Then he gets disconnected.

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