Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sinus = sadness

Why such a direct correlation, why oh why oh why? Of course I wonder if it's all because someone was smoking pot in that backroom and there was no ventilation, this is how sensitive my sinuses are, how sensitive my sinuses can make me: then I'm just sad about everything, I mean today it's okay on the fire escape, kind of -- actually, it's too hot, I can't deal with the sun -- why am I out here in the sun?

The way everything surrounds me, I mean I can hardly stand apart it's like everything blurs. Or it's me that's blurring, hard to see except the blurriness. Just waiting for the bus is too much, even with this beautiful breeze 6 p.m. not-yet-shadowy light. The bus is warm and stuffy, the way exhaustion makes it difficult to get anywhere, a little better once I've arrived because yes I've made it it's possible I'm one step closer to being home again, back in my apartment. Except once I'm there it's like I'm not quite there either, bruises inside my forehead.


Kathleen Bradean said...

Sorry you're having a bad day.
I feel like I should make you soup or something. But we'll just have to make do with long distance sympathy.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Long-distance soup, yum yum yum -- that sounds delicious, thanks Kathleen!

Love --