Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Days when I need to get back in bed

Days when listening to music just makes me want drugs, any music just different kinds of drugs maybe a cocktail instead of lines except cocktails always lead to lines that's why I don't drink cocktails I need to get back in bed. Actually I don't even know what cocktails mean anymore it's been so long since I've had a cocktail I can't imagine anything except first that rush, oh that rush that rush. Yes. Then I can sit there and inhale the rest like breath it's never breath it's never breath it's never breath.

My one block walk down the sidewalk, across the street, around the corner and back -- thinking this is the time when I'm going to get hit by a car, even if I stand close to the buildings there's a car that's going to slide off the sidewalk and slam me against the wall in pieces I'm already in pieces how would I ever feel? Okay I made it.

Now: I shouldn't have gotten up today why did I get up I shouldn't have gotten up. Twelve hours in bed and all I get is time to cook before I get back in bed so that I can get up and eat, that's how it feels. I don't like cooking. I don't like eating. I don't like spending all this time on my hair, thinking I'm going somewhere to feel better and then the only place I'm going is back to bed.

But I do like the bed, oh I like the bed oh.

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