Thursday, November 15, 2007

Why does it makes me sad when he doesn't respond, even just to say thanks?

I look at craigslist for a minute, there's a posting from some guy trying to figure out how to come in a guy's ass with a condom on, so he wants someone to practice with -- he says "practice on," but I still think it's a cute posting. I send him a response:

It's great to see someone trying to stay safe -- I'll
admit I'm super-turned-on by the whole thing (picture
included), but I'm terrible at getting fucked -- even
though it turns me on in my fantasies, I get too
nervous if I don't know the guy well (or even then),
plus I'm allergic to different kinds of lube and I
used to think latex too so I tried Avanti condoms with
oil (they're polyurethane, not latex, so you can use
oil -- have you tried them?) and that works the best
but I don't think they're made very well. Also, have
you tried different types of lube -- those silicone
ones are so slippery, maybe they would help.

I actually don't have a problem coming in a guy's ass
(with a condom, I mean), except that I don't like the feeling actually -- I used to have difficulty staying hard in a condom, that happens sometimes and
then what works for is if he reaches back and tickles
my balls, that does the trick but sometimes it's hard
to maneuver :)

Anyway, can't help but fantasize about your cock down
my throat -- that is where I'm talented, but wait it's
only a fantasy so I can think about sitting on your
lap right there in the picture too.

I hope you have a lot of fun -- I'd love to hear how
it all works out (or if you want someone to watch...).
Maybe a week isn't enough time to figure it all out, I
would say give yourself as much time as you need and
try not to get too stressed out -- this is your health
and the health of the guys you're having sex with,
you're doing really important work.

4 comments:

James said...

Mattilda - Excellent response to the guy. Thank You for posting it on your blog.
The first time I used craigslist to hook up with a guy, he fucked me without a condom, though he did pull out just before he came. I then said, "I would like to fuck you, but don't you want me to use a condom?" The proper thing would have been to bring up the topic of condoms BEFORE I got fucked. More proper would have been to write about condoms in my response to his posting. He said nonchalantly, "you just pull out before you come", which did not have a chance to happen, because he asked me to leave shortly after that.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Thanks, James -- I do think there is often a norm in (casual) sex where safety is not talked about -- in my experience, especially when guys want to fuck you and they just assume that if you are consenting to the foreplay then that is also consent to getting fucked, and to getting fucked without a condom. Unfortunately, gay male/male sexual culture is so much about not talking -- oh, the tragedies -- I could go on and on... but, of course, good luck in your own sexual explorations, safety and conversations!

Love --
mattilda

James said...

Mattilda - good point about the gay male/male sexual culture is so much about not talking--- Last night, I was having safe sex with a local man I hook up with sometimes, [whom I actually met at the local bar in the spring!] I felt good, but I thought to myself as I was getting fucked, there are a couple things he could do to make it feel better for me, but I thought, he is doing what he likes, I do not want to break his rhythm..., I did talk about it with him after the heat of the moment, and acknowledged to him that it would have been better to say something at that earlier time so that he could do something slightly different...

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Yay -- talking talking talking -- the more the better, that's what I say -- at least when it's the communication type of talking!

Love --
mattilda