Monday, November 12, 2007

You were wondering about my Manhattan apartment...

I know – you’ve seen all the real estate I keep posting and you're wondering: where on earth is Mattilda's Manhattan pied-à-terre? Well, of course I was saving up until the right place came along, luckily I found a copy of W Magazine downstairs -- the issue with the "Nancy Reagan Exclusive: The First Lady on Her White House Clothes," "The Real L Word: Hollywood's Other Gay Mafia,” and, of course "The Most Spectacular Jewels of the Season." But, before I had a chance to read any of these scintillating articles, I turned right to a stunning quote:

That's right -- "If there were buildings like this when Georgia O'Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz were falling in love in New York, he might not have taken so many pictures of her.” Well, that truly hit my bohemian sensibilities -- we all know Georgia O'Keeffe was only around so that a man could take pictures of her -- so sexy, an independent woman posing as an artist! And then I looked to my right, at one of my favorite squares in New York, to see a glass tower littering -- I mean glittering – the sky, oh I was impressed because when I was last in New York I kept looking up at all these new towers and I didn't know where I was, like neighborhoods I remembered had disappeared and become the alienation of Midtown -- but when I looked at this tower, all by itself on a formerly beautiful square -- I mean formally -- oh, I got excited. Then I glanced down at the ad, and saw "Residences Starting at $6,900,000," so I was impressed with the honesty, purity, and clarity of all those lovely zeros. Oh, did I get out my checkbook! I called up Wilbur Gonzalez and Wendy Maitland right away at (212) 353-0100 and bought six floors (48-53, if you must know), for a total of, well... just under $44,911,411, oh isn't that so cute – but wait until you see my special elevator with a custom-made Baccarat chandelier hedge fund analysis and views of the World Trade Center, oops, well New York is growing...

4 comments:

grantatee said...

well of course i called up wilbur gonzalez right away.. i mean, i wanted to snatch up the top floor... but when i got out my checkbook to write a check they said, 'checks are so stone age!' can you believe, the nerve... but i didn't want to put it on my visa, cause i usually reserve that card for only large expenses... and i didnt want to go wracking up the old plastic card with such a small purchase.. but i just went ahead and did it so we could be neighbors.
if that isn't love i dont know what is.

xoxox
grant

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Grant, oh I'm so excited --
neighbors neighbors neighbors! Wilbur is such a bitch -- you know she said the same thing to me at first, when I was inquiring about one floor, but when I said six I could see her realtors' eyes go boing boing about her commission --that's a quick 2 mil right there, she said I'll make an exception...

You know, I thought of snatching up the top floor myself, as a little investment, but I thought that might be a tad outré -- I'm so glad you put it on your card. I always say -- you can't buy me love, but you can charge it.

More love than ever --
mattilda

James said...

damn, I should have waited to buy. I bought my condo at the development at the old New York Central railyards on the west side....

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

James, well those railyards do have character -- I mean views... but really, it's never too late to sell...

Love --
mattilda