Monday, January 28, 2008

Everyone else brought one

It's funny -- I just remembered that people carry umbrellas, I mean that's how they keep themselves from getting wet in the rain. Seems pretty self-explanatory, but the other night when I was thinking of going out and it was pouring, I was imagining everyone arriving with hoodies over their heads or hats as protection, so I figured everyone's hair would be messed up and how would that work out? I mean I neglected to think about umbrellas, because I can't carry one, it's been out of the question for six or seven years now.

Okay, so I'm having a bulk foods emergency, almost out of grains but I can't carry anything and then at the last minute I decide to rush outside and jump in a cab and grab what I need and jump in another cab. Every lovely Whole Foods customer looks at me like they've never seen a human.

Anyway, what I really forgot to bring was my baby, because it turns out that everyone else brought one. People stop their carts in the middle of the aisles and compare the shapes and sizes of their toddlers, then they look at you like you're crazy when you try to get by.

I am crazy, because I left the house without food, I mean you'd think I could eat something at Whole Foods, but all the prepared food makes me sick so I'm not even going to risk it -- luckily I get home in 45 minutes total, that's pretty amazing now I just have to hope that the pain doesn't get worse.


Miss May said...

"Anyway, what I really forgot to bring was my baby, because it turns out that everyone else brought one."

I laughed out loud when I read this.

Mattilda - never stop your critique. It keeps me going because you're full of both thoughtful analysis and the best kind of wit.

Thank you,


mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Stacey, you are too kind -- thoughtful analysis and the best kind of wit, yay!

But seriously, I looked through every aisle in that store and I couldn't find where they were selling those babies. There might be some kind of underground marketplace there, I will keep researching...

Love --

grantatee said...


you are so beautiful. i smiled at that line too.

can't wait to drink lemony water with you again soon.

lots of LOVE<

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Wait, were you drinking my lemon water I mean my watery lemon my lemony lemon water my waterlemon lemonade?

I knew there was more going on than I imagined...

Soon, yes soon!

Love --