Saturday, January 05, 2008

Fresh cool moist air

It's getting crazy windy outside, the best part is that the air is so fresh in my apartment so of course I keep the windows in the bathroom and kitchen open when I go to bed. But that's when it gets really wild -- I can hear papers flying off my kitchen table, pens hitting the floor, did the globe just hit the chair? That's okay -- the air is great, but wait -- is it raining in my apartment? No, that must just be the rain hitting the windows, there are five floors above me there can't be a leak in the ceiling, don't get up, just enjoy this air.

I love when it's chilly enough in my apartment that I can hug the pillow and still feel cool, especially with the crazy wind outside, pounding the windows it's so loud I'm trying to make it relaxing but it's kind of hard to focus on my breath, my body on the mattress, thumbnails pressing on fingertips, anal sphincter exercises -- these things that keep me focused, I mean sleep shouldn't necessarily require focus but it does. I'm trying to make the wind blend in with the white noise generator, but it's so much louder and I keep thinking there's water pouring into my apartment.

I do fall asleep, wake up to piss and the wind is louder, rain pouring, it's hard not to get wired I'm pissing in a bottle like I do now so that I don't wake up too much, and oh no I didn't really just knock the bottle over like I'm always afraid I'm going to do but it's never happened, is that the sound of piss falling onto the floor? I pull off the eye mask and the bottom sheet is wet I pull it off the bed wow it's freezing in my apartment, gusts of wind blowing through. Literally gusts. I go in the kitchen, and sure enough there's water all over the floor, the wind has blown the kitchen cabinets open, even the philodendron has fallen from some of its climbing spaces on the wall. I go in the bathroom for towels, but you won't believe this -- the towels have blown out the window, they’re nowhere in sight. I get clean towels, wipe off the kitchen floor I'm glad it's linoleum. I get a replacement sheet for the bed, but actually it's too dusty I'm lying in bed at 8 a.m. I can't believe it's only 8 a.m., but the good news is that I still have a while to sleep, a whole night almost. Although how am I going to sleep with all this dust, now that I've closed the kitchen window the air isn't as fresh and half my bed is wet and I start to panic, I need to get to a point where I can just wake up and feel relaxed about it, like it’s a break but instead I start wondering how I'm going to face the day, whether I'll have to cancel all my plans. Until I start to have all of these complicated dreams, some of them are fun and some are stressful, but when I wake up I actually feel kind of energetic. I think it's hilarious that the towels in the bathroom flew out the window, I mean if you saw that in a movie you'd think it was slapstick.

The air is still so amazing, that's why I'm in a good mood my sinuses aren’t pounding like usual, sure there’s a tug in between my eyebrows but my head doesn't feel like it's filled with windowpanes or Windex it's actually kind of clear. It's funny, because people always say that dry climates are the best for people with chronic illnesses and I guess that's because there's no mold, but I just love this fresh cool moist air.


grantatee said...

my favorite: 'im going to wash my hands. you might want to wash yours too...'

thanks for the link, girl.

love you,

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Hilarious, darling -- so lovely to see you tonight, so soon!

Love --

JordanV said...

The cool air brushes over my damp lips. It chills my bare chest. I cannot stay in hotel rooms that the windows do not open. It may be the smell of the air. It may be the sounds of mice scurrying to their jobs, it may be the tin boxes' horns. It may be that I am waiting for my first hotel trick ever. I hear an ambulance in the distance. Is someone surviving or dying? I like open windows also.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Jordan, this is beautiful -- thanks for sharing. It's funny, I remember hearing Julie Hecht on NPR years ago talking about her book Do The Windows Open?, and she was getting all wacky in a very literary way, but it was totally hilarious I had to get the book...

Good luck with your first hotel trick -- hotel tricks were always my favorites, actually, although it depended on the trick I mean the hotel:) I'm assuming you mean a paying trick, when I use the word trick I always mean paying but I know it also exists in the casual sex/hook-up lexicon so maybe you mean something altogether different...

Love --