Saturday, February 02, 2008

Maybe it's true love

The thing about feldenkrais is that it makes me feel so good so connected so present in my body but then I crash. The crash is part of it, your body getting used to the changes, integrating them, but oh no I'm just sitting here thinking about just a few minutes ago when I actually had energy, wasn't that just a few minutes ago?

Meanwhile, I'm kind of waiting for Keith to call. Keith is the guy from the three-way the other night, he sent me an email after I called, his email said when would you like to come over again and play around? Funny because I hadn't given him my email but he got it from when the other guy forwarded my pictures. You know, the guy who couldn't deal with whispering. I wrote back: now now now now NOW. Then I called again. But he was sleeping.

Anyway, we talked this evening -- after work he was going out for cocktails with people from work, then with some friends to the Castro -- so maybe not tonight. I think he said Castro without irony. But I said why don't you call me when you get back -- I'm always up late. So now I'm kind of waiting for him to call, waiting because I don't really have anyone else to call for hot sex, where is my sexual network? Right I'm trying to build build build it, but the problem is that I keep looking in public sexual spaces and those are the same people who can't communicate on any level at all, haven't I learned my lesson after wait, fifteen years in those spaces?

No, I haven't learned my lesson -- I still have dreams, okay?

I scan craigslist just in case there are any dreams there, but only nightmares. You probably knew I was going to say that. Outside, a car skids super-loud and I can hear people yelling whoa, whoa but then the car skids again, and again, and I wonder if it's whistle top mufflers, those are so annoying.

But wait -- someone on craigslist posted: “For all the other white professionals living on the north side here goes - you're just as tired as I am from all of the ‘do you like Asians’ responses.” I reply: “I prefer the question: do you like racists?” And then he actually writes back!: “OK, so you're asian - why be so defensive - tell me you have an insatiable, tight ass and we'll probably have something to talk about.”

Maybe it's true love.

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