Sunday, March 02, 2008

His hand and my hand, even his hand in my hand

It's funny when you leave something out of your life, you convince yourself that you don't like it that much anyway that you prefer something else but then suddenly that thing is back in your life and you realize oh, I love this. That's how I feel about jerking off, I mean how I felt last night, first when I was flirting with that guy online which was silly and kind of pointless but also sort of fun. Not something to repeat again necessarily, but strange and energizing in the moment even if I knew it would hurt my hands.

Then when I was jerking off with that guy at Blow Buddies, it got frantic and that's how we came and it felt good going back and forth from his dick against mine to his hand and my hand, even his hand in my hand. Usually I try to do as little as possible with my hands so that I can avoid pain but suddenly it just felt like the answer or not the answer but like something I needed to do I mean where the charge was and yes, now my hands are worse, especially the burning into the tendons just above my wrists and I knew this would happen, probably more from jerking off over the computer that was more frantic. That's probably what I should avoid -- sure, I'd like to say that of course I shouldn't avoid it ever, but that's not the reality of my life. So I would say the best choice would be to save it for public sex moments with someone else who's helping. But so far the aftermath is manageable, I'm going to go to a movie and hope it doesn't get worse.


grantatee said...

i hope your feeling better, sweet heart.

did you like the movie?

sometimes i think holding hands is the most intimate thing.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Better than I was, I mean than I was in LA after traveling -- that's for sure...

Traveling is intimate, I mean holding hands is intimate -- that's what I meant to say, I swear!

The movie, more on that soon!

Love --