Saturday, March 01, 2008

Passion, it's what I'm always looking for

Sorry for being greedy is what this guy says after he goes all the way down on my dick just as I'm about to pull away, I already told him I didn't want to come yet. Greedy is a good word, actually -- I wasn't sure if I was pulling away not to come, or pulling away to come, but either way I was pulling away. Oh, well -- now he's standing up I push his head away a few times like he's been a bad boy, kind of joking but kind of mad too. The funny thing is that I told the three-times-a-week guy that I would think about him the next time someone was sucking my cock, which would've been possible if this guy wasn't so good, sending me to those moments of just sensation holding it in the back of his throat rubbing his curly hair that's what I like just holding.

Then I crash, I'm sitting in the porn room thinking maybe I should leave but I just got here, watching someone eating peanuts, all the shells on the floor. Oh, right -- peanuts -- they have peanuts in a urinal, I mean not a urinal in use just a urinal for peanuts. How many times have I been here and I've never even thought of eating any? Actually they're delicious -- I'm adding shells to the floor, which is where they're supposed to go I guess -- someone comes in and sweeps every now and then. Frank, the guy who was sucking my dick, comes in and says it's kind of quiet here so that gets us to my favorite topic -- the internet is destroying public sex, and Frank agrees. I ask him if he has fun anywhere, he says he drives so sometimes he goes to Steamworks, Sunday afternoon is the best there are a lot of students there. Why do students go there on Sunday afternoon? Monday nights at Daddy's are fun too because it's underwear night and people have sex in the back -- that sounds kind of exciting, but then I realize it'll be smoky because everyone stands right outside.

I'm saying something about the generational gap in public sexual spaces -- I mean there's no one younger than me -- Frank is a bit older, but he agrees -- where are all the young people? But then I'm thinking: wait, what about me -- I'm young, aren't I ? Funny how these things work.

Later Frank’s leaving and I give him my number, say maybe if you want to go to Steamworks some time. He seems surprised -- he probably won't call, but I'm glad for the gesture. Okay, but the highlight is later, after I walk around in circles for a while just looking for something that turns me on so that I can leave but there's hardly anyone there and everyone's walking around in circles or standing at glory holes looking dazed. But wait -- I didn't realize this before, but that guy getting sucked in the corner upstairs is the one earlier who I could've gone crazy for -- short hair and stubble, that certain kind of masculinity that has its allure I mean it can make me crazy with longing but he was too standoffish. There he is in the corner, leaning back with those big eyes open then closed, a crowd gathering -- including the guy in the business shirt so then I'm in the back of the crowd until I'm in the front on my knees again even though I was trying to avoid too much on my knees because of pain but forget it I'm on my knees sucking his dick after who knows how many and he's got that poppered-out glaze in his eyes but I’m the one he moans for -- I'm thinking yes I'm the best, I'm the best -- why is cocksucking so competitive?

This is one of those crazed groups now so rare, everyone grabbing for anything they can get I mean anything they want, which is annoying when it's someone's smoky fingers in my mouth but great when I'm holding the leg of the guy in the dress shirt and then up making out with him then the guy who's cock I was sucking, who’s also making out with him and only kind of with me so I grab his face I can tell he doesn't like that because he's working the top thing so that makes it kind of hotter, but the hottest thing is kissing the other guy and then we're in a booth I'm tasting all the different textures of his lips I especially like the spongy center my dick grinding against his but really it's about the lips and every now and then he pulls away I say kiss me and he grabs my face, rewind, kiss me, fast-forward, kiss me kiss me kiss me and when we stop I'm looking right into his eyes with nothing but lust and hope it's so hot. Kiss me. He says I'm going to come, I say wait for me I want to come with you and then we're jerking each other off, one of us with both dicks then the other and then each of us with our own and then I start to shoot, I'm aiming for his balls but he moves away like it's bleach I guess he is wearing fancy clothes, and then he's coming I reach over just in front and I can feel it on my hand I rub it into my thighs and reach for his face as he's pulling up his pants, that was hot.

More than hot, really -- passion, it’s what I'm always looking for.

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