Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Three etched lines

Meanwhile, there's this infected cut on my middle finger, every night it heals and then I'm doing dishes and taking a shower and it gets infected again. Chris said to buy some gloves, which is probably a good idea, but I went to the store and they only had packages of 40 which just seemed like a waste, I mean they had thick rubber gloves in single sets but those always end up hurting my hands. The cut has almost healed now, see this is what happens every night -- now I'm thinking I don't need gloves, but what about tomorrow?

Really I need to go on a walk, but I keep looking online for sex, even though I don't want sex, that's just what ends up happening. In some ways it's better to look when I'm not in the mood, because then I can get off the computer quickly when it's not working, since it's usually not working. Or, at least I can get off the computer kind of quickly. It's so distracting, which is maybe what I'm looking for. No, I'm looking for a walk -- remember, a walk -- don't get distracted!

Okay, my new strategy actually works: taking a cab a short distance away and then walking back, remember? I know you don’t remember, because I've never really tried it. I mean, the best part about the Nob Hill Theatre is usually the walk back, and that's a short cab ride away, but then there's that hour of walking in circles in between so usually I end up over-exhausted instead of refreshed. Once I tried taking a cab to Lafayette Park, it was so beautiful walking up the hill to the top of the park with those towering palm trees underneath the moon and all that air, but then I hurt myself walking down, and really that's too far. Tonight I take a cab to Polk and Pine, the depressing part is that I only run into three people during my five blocks down Polk, I mean Polk Street used to be packed at any time of night, or maybe not packed but lively -- now it's only a few minutes after the bars closed, and there's no one around: one guy taking stock of his belongings; a woman with dyed black hair, chewing gum and walking fast she's probably tweaking; someone who offers me speed. That's all -- then I turn the corner on O'Farrell and there’s a cop convention, you know when they put their flashing lights on but it's only so they can park in the middle of the street.

I always think those three etched lines on the glass door of the new bar at O'Farrell and Larkin mean that the glass has been smashed, and then I get kind of excited, but then I remember: oh, three etched lines -- it's part of the design. Although I'm not sure what the design is, exactly.

It's actually busier down here than on Polk Street, someone's waiting outside my building and I wonder if it's is one of the speed dealer’s customers, I always like their excuses: I left my phone in the elevator. Or: I can't believe I'm eating this comedy mind if I come in? But no, it's a fag with a newsboy hat and something argyle who repeats my name Mitt-tilta with a slight question mark at the end, yes that's right Mitt’s my name and baseball’s my game. But wait -- there's a homerun waiting to happen in my apartment, oh well there's his roommate arriving to usher him in, she looks like she might be the one who subscribes to all the fashion magazines on one of the lower floors -- okay, have a good night!

6 comments:

studious_queer said...

Hope your infection gets uninfected soon. Hope you want sex soon. you are far too sexy and powerful to not be getting laid properly!

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Thanks for the sweetness! Luckily the infection looks like it's healing -- and you're right, what is up with the tragedy of my sex life? (I know you didn't phrase it that way, don't worry.) Well, at least it's material, as they say...

Love --
mattilda

studious_queer said...

I;m in central pennsylvania in a college town (penn state), where no one over 19 gets laid. Its material for me too...we should both write a play:)

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

No one over 19?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Wait, let me say that again -- no one over 19?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!!?!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!??!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm about to go to the video booths at the Nob Hill Theatre, even though I hate video booths and I hate the Nob Hill Theatre, but I do like public sex spaces and it's the only one I can think of to go to right now, so at least there will be the fresh air on the way back...

Love --
mattilda

michael said...

well, mattilda, my darlin. you may hate the nob hill theatre, but i certainly hope you don't hate me! isn't that what public sexual spaces are all about? making "connections?" anyhoo, hope to see you soon, beautiful!

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Michael, you're certainly the best thing that's happened to my Nob Hill Theatre experience in a long time -- I haven't written about last night, yet... And yes, we must get together soon, for more connection.

Love --
mattilda