Monday, July 07, 2008

Maybe inside there's a place

Why now is what I'm thinking in the middle of the night bright bright bright night that pounding in the center of my head, tongue rearranged into face twisted okay not now just not now that waking a sip of water okay remember that did nothing just more movement between cheek and tongue and teeth no need to wake for a sip of water I was already awake that was the problem the sip of water a possible solution no longer. This grit between my teeth, did I use a different toothpaste could it be the new supplement I'm taking DHEA because it came out so low on my bloodwork just a low low dose in the morning and really it clears my head I've been very careful to pay attention for any highs or crashes I always pay attention not this pulling unless it's the lead. Is it the air the way it's gotten so damp and sticky like the East Coast except it's not so warm it just seems like it might be warm they're supposed to keep that humidity on the East Coast! Can pollution gets stuck in the air between my teeth like this all those forest fires, 1800 in Northern California they say some of them won't be out until winter that's a lot of burning to think about. Could it have gotten much worse here over the last two days now my sinuses it’s true that when I sat on my fire escape yesterday my eyes started burning but wait, oh wait, yes now it's calm.

When I get out of bed, at least there's help from my music all these fake car horns and skips and jumps and words rearranged into sounds rearranged into beats rearranged into some kind of falling down glamour is what I'm thinking I can maybe approximate a sampling body head swinging flinging type derange arrangement but wait not too much movement too soon for the shoulders ouch neck the other pain away from the center of my head more sensitive to movement. Maybe I can just think about the movement maybe inside there’s a place where turning flinging swinging around and around isn’t so dangerous.

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