Friday, July 11, 2008

That's it

But wait -- I actually succeed in hooking up with someone over the internet -- it's from craigslist, and by now we've actually exchanged so many emails saying nothing that I can't remember what his ad said, something about sucking cock, but then later we realized we both wanted to suck cock so that sounded even better and I liked his smile in the picture, so I told him that. But then he called me buddy. And then bud.

Oh well -- to tell you the truth, I don't even believe he's going to show up, but then 10 p.m. comes around and he's actually downstairs, then upstairs but he's out of breath -- there's an elevator, I already told him there was an elevator, actually there are two. He says I was scared of that elevator, and I won't immediately assume that’s class shade because if you're not used to old Tenderloin buildings then sure, the elevator could be scary.

He's nervous and I can't tell if I'm attracted to him, he says do you have the sofa facing that way just because of the view? I say yeah, because of the view, although also it's my faux living room, that's why the sofas face each other, but I don't tell him that part. The view is enough.

At first I think he doesn't look like his picture, but then I realize he has the same soft cute face he's just heavier and older so that shouldn't matter. It's just disorienting. I hug him and kiss his neck and then he's hugging me and kissing my neck and we start making out and I can tell he wants my tongue right away but I'm more comfortable just opening my mouth and kissing the sides of his lips, although then I guess him my tongue anyway his mouth tastes sort of sour. Soon he’s sucking my cock, and then I'm sucking his cock, and then we're on the bed together and I think about the fact that Chris just installed a dimmer switch and I said oh, that can be for the once every eight months that I have sex in my apartment and someone says oh, these lights are awfully bright -- the better to see you with, Little Red Riding Hood! That's who you're supposed to say that to, right?

Really the dimmer switch is because Chris has been reading all about sleep and they say dim your lights before bed, although this guy doesn't say anything about the light so I don't change it. Sucking is fun enough, the mutuality and momentary disappearance in either direction and eventually I come on his face because he wants to watch it, although he closes his eyes. He comes right after me, I go into the closet for a towel because he's kind of messy, and then he's in the bathroom for a while and I drink water, more water, I guess that was okay. I mean I feel okay. I mean it wasn’t that fun, but it wasn't bad either.

He's back in the living room, getting dressed, trying to make small talk -- telling me about some guy outside who was pretending to help him park his car. He says then the guy said to me: you didn't even say thanks! And I said isn't this a city, sometimes people are friendly and sometimes they aren’t. He lives in Marin. While he is talking to me, he's checking his iPhone, I only know it's an iPhone because it says that on his emails, I look over to see what it looks like -- it's flat and sleek and black and there are a lot of options and you choose what you want by moving your finger in a circle like with an iPod. I guess he's responding to a message. When he's done, he points to his cock making space in his jeans -- he says I wish I looked like this all the time, although you never know -- there was this straight guy who I pursued for years, and he had this huge bulge but when he finally said yes it only grew like an inch -- I was like: that's it?

Smiling like I'm amused, I'm already tired again.

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