Monday, January 19, 2009

How I'm feeling

I look down at my leg on the stretching mat him and I can’t tell how exactly it relates to me, I mean I know it’s my leg but what does it feel like exactly can I feel it? No it is me, part of me, I decide to rub the palm of my hand up and down, to feel more, the hairs rising up with fingers, but then my hand starts to hurt so I stop and look at my hand. The fingers look shorter than usual, my forearm looks small and the hairs darker than I expect. The most familiar thing is the way the palms of my hands become all red and speckled with the heat. Something itches, I scratch it, yes I can feel it but maybe most of my feeling is in my head except actually my head doesn’t feel any more me than the rest of me it’s more clogged, everything kind of floats or sinks and I can’t really tell the difference. It’s like this: sirens outside, oh, I look over. The world, sun setting into gray pinkish gray not really pretty the smog but the plant in front of the window I like the way different shapes and shades of green arch or point towards sky and I can follow to the tip of the leaves in front of glass in front of air in front of buildings and somehow that helps to clear my head a bit.

No comments: