Monday, February 23, 2009

Lostmissing #13

Lostmissing is a public art project -- I’d love it if you’d participate.

Here's what lostmissing #13 says:

It’s amazing how something so simple as a voice saying hello can calm me, just hello, hello from the distance I wasn’t sure if the distance was the phone or you or both of you, but that’s all I got. Hello, and then. And then I called back, before I was so sure of things I wanted to say I mean I didn’t know what I wanted to say but I knew that I wanted to express my anger but then after hello, just hello, I don’t know what to say. I say: did you just answer? I guess call me back, if you’re calling me back.

So now I get to sit here and guess some more, guess whether you hung up on me because for a second you didn’t remember my number and you just answered out of habit and then oh, you remembered, and you hung up on me. Or maybe your phone went dead. Pretty doubtful, but this is how my brain works: I’m filled with doubt. Not in general, but maybe about you, and our relationship, and its sudden rupture. It’s funny how I feel calmer now, when the phone was ringing I felt all that dread and nervousness, especially when -- hello -- and I paused, didn’t know what to say. I guess I’ll have to call again.

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