Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Lostmissing is a public art project -- please participate.
Here's what this new poster says:
I just reread the letter I sent you, the letter you told me you weren’t going to read. You probably read it. I don’t like that I have to guess about everything now, it makes me feel lonelier. You called me all angry and left me a message saying I was crossing your boundaries, the boundaries you were changing on the phone so that they were crossed. That was in September. We haven’t spoken since September, almost five months we haven’t spoken in five months and now I have to guess about everything.
I don’t have to guess about that letter. That letter is gorgeous. It’s so vulnerable and layered and open and honest and reading it again now it’s like I’m suddenly stunned again. I’m just stunned. I, I can’t believe you responded by deciding not to speak to me, I mean I’m only guessing that you’re not speaking to me since you haven’t replied to any of my messages. You haven’t told me that you’re not speaking to me, as if that moment of speech would be too much. As if I’m so dangerous to your new version of health or stability that you can’t even engage for one moment I’m not worth it. Not even a message on my phone when you know I’m sleeping and it’s off. I’m finding it hard to breathe, I’m just sitting here with this look on my face where my eyes stare out in frozen pain jaw locked breath stuck I can’t believe you read that letter, and this is where we’re left with this gap between us. I can’t believe you didn’t read that letter, and this is where you’re leaving me.