Friday, February 06, 2009


I can’t believe that I get to the fourth floor of Neiman Marcus and the escalators stop, it’s 4 am and everyone’s looking at me like what am I doing there. I say to someone: I’m just trying to get upstairs, and she points to a freight elevator, I say does this go to seven? Oh, it’s ground-level, she says, 59th St., and watch out it’s rotary. She points to the dial and the gate shuts, I’m just trying to get home and now I have to go to 59th St., I can’t believe the elevator doesn’t connect to the seventh floor. How will I get home from 59th St., I’ll be running outside in 6 am sunlight it’ll be like I’m strung out and just as I decide to laugh about it the elevator starts it goes so fast I’m floating above the floor and when I wake up I think how ridiculous it is that I can do all these crazy things like walk through Neiman Marcus at 4 am and get in an elevator where you have to turn a dial to keep it from going too fast and when it goes too fast you float above the floor and it doesn’t even take you to the seventh floor of the building where you live, it takes you to 59th St. in Manhattan, and that whole time I can think that I’m still awake and why can’t I fall asleep I’m still awake, walking through Neiman Marcus I’m still awake in an elevator with a rotary dial like a combination lock I’m still awake floating above the floor and it all just feels so useless.


man-of-snows said...


Like me dreaming about taking a dictation of lyrical poetry for my advisor at school, so I can edit it for a scholarship application for myself?

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Wait, but that's not useless -- you can get that scholarship, I swear you can!

Love --