Monday, March 30, 2009
Lostmissing is a public art project -- I’d love it if you’d participate.
And here's what lostmissing #24 says:
I’m sick of thinking about what I want to say when I see you. I’m sick of thinking about seeing you. I wish I would just run into you already, so I wouldn’t have to think about how I’ll look when I run into you. I want just the right amount of sun so that my face glows, but not too much so there are more shadows. Now I wait four or five days to wash my hair so that it doesn’t get too dry, and then on that fifth day it’s perfect. I want to talk to you like you’re a distant threat, something just outside of the hairbrush.
I did figure out the one sentence I want to say when I see you: the way you’re treating me is disgusting. Simpler and more direct. Of course there’s so much more, but it’s good to have one sentence. The way you’re treating me is disgusting and overwhelming and it goes against everything we built together over so many years and I still treasure all of that, even if now I hate it too and it makes me more lonely.
This project is not about letting go. This project is about expressing myself. It’s about you and me and what you mean to me, what you meant and what you will mean once I get done with you, done with this project. What I will mean. I won’t be done with you, once I’m done with this project. Although I wouldn’t mind. I’m not trying to let you go. I’m sick of what’s necessary. I’m sick of you.