Thursday, April 09, 2009

The best book I've ever read

But sometimes there’s so much going on in my head it’s like another world, here in the shower another world and even when I leave the shower it’s like my apartment is an extension of my head the fire escape a place to think but then I wonder what happens when I step into the hallway, into the elevator, downstairs to the street where it’s windy so that’s a good sign but it’s not another world. Music, another world outside my head into my head like today when I’m thinking about starting that club that’s just a runway so you have to walk through that bang clang flashing lights that pounding beat where runway is whatever you want to give give give whatever. I’ll walk around with a microphone pinned to my collar giving instructions turn burn shake it out and learn yearn or maybe stand upstairs where people can change in an out of costumes and outside someone will keep the smokers at a distance. I even start thinking about spaces that would work, but then there’s the other side of my head, pain stuffed into sleep without sleep without sleep this world no I’m not ready to go outside yet.

I’m too tired to talk on the phone but I’m talking on the phone -- I’m not sure if it makes me more tired, or just more aware of how tired I am. I finish the book that I wanted to be the best book I’ve ever read, and it isn’t. Of course, I want every book I read to be the best book ever, but this one has so many gorgeous lines carrying so many layers of awareness but then there’s the cheesy part too and I don’t like the cheesy part.


kayti said...

The best book ever is still out there somewhere.

Anonymous said...

If you start that club, can I be a promoter?

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Kayti, you are so so right!!!

And Elian, yes yes silly me I forgot all about promoters!!!

Love --