Thursday, April 02, 2009

Feeling this way for so long

Wait, what happened -- did I actually sleep okay? I mean I wake up and my sinuses are a mess but I don’t feel destroyed. The air is fresh and the day is beautiful, I call Eric to see if she wants to go to the beach to watch the sunset before we get dinner, yay for the beach! I can feel the sinus sadness creeping in, so I almost don’t want to go outside until she arrives, just so I don’t get exhausted and lose this moment, this moment that’s already sort of lost as I’m writing this I mean I realize I don’t feel as good as I thought but still much better than usual I’ll take much better much better much better.

Then I walk a block, literally a block and it all fades away but I walk a block further and there’s Goodwill and then on the way home my shoulders start burning so I walk extra-slow it just seems like such a long walk back, so much for better than usual. On the way to the beach I’m so exhausted that it’s hard to talk, then it’s extra-freezing and windy at the beach but after walking a bit I get a burst of energy from posing for photos and then I can think again except now that’s faded I mean I’ve faded so I’ll stop trying to make sense but why is it midnight already I mean I like midnight but I don’t like feeling this way for so long and then looking at the clock.

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