Saturday, April 25, 2009

House music, more or less

There’s this moment when we come back to my house because I’m too exhausted to function and I ask my mother if she minds if I put music on while I’m stretching. Really I’m doing feldenkrais, but it’s easier to say stretching. Then my mother sits on the sofa facing the windows and closes her eyes, and I lie down on the mat and I think maybe I should get up and change Danny Tenaglia to a feldenkrais CD so I can go deeper but the floor already feel so relaxing. Stretching or feldenkrais or whatever I’m doing helps and when I get up my mother’s eyes are closed she’s doing her own resting and that helps too. Then I fix my hair and change my shirt and socks and underwear and I still feel tired but calm, the calm is the important part and my mother asks what kind of music this is.

House music, more or less. House music -- h-o-u-s-e? Yeah, house music. What kind of music is that? This kind of music, I guess.

And then as we’re leaving I say usually people listen to it at this volume, and I turn the music way up and my mother is almost dancing and I think of dancing too, for a moment, something I’ve never done with my mother, but I’ve already put on my coat and scarves and mittens so my body might be too constricted and I’m not sure if I want to dance with my mother. But it’s an interesting moment of something like vulnerability that doesn’t feel crushing.

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