Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Back down to the world

Oh, no -- I’m actually starting to like sucking cock through a hole! Even though I keep thinking not that glory hole again, okay -- it hurts my neck. But then I’m there at the Nob Hill Theatre and there’s that dick through the hole and it’s as close to intimacy or connection as I’m gonna get, so hello glory hole! I mean I prefer the hands on my neck or wherever, but even that’s too much for some of these people. The most hilarious time is when I hear a woman talking to some guy and I look through the hole to see them both in the booth, she’s hiding in the corner and I can’t decide if I’m turned on by his dick kind of limp through the round frame I mean I didn’t get a chance to see him that’s why I don’t usually like the glory hole -- I mean besides my neck. So I just kind of watch, he pulls it back but I still can’t see him and I’m trying to find her to figure out more and then there his dick is again, fully hard and shaved all the way, do straight people do that now too?

Here I go -- all the way to the gulp-down, yes yes yes and then the walk uphill to my favorite new view and everything’s okay, but what makes the next time even better? Or okay, not the next time, but the next time something actually happens, I look up through the hole and I see his jacket, some kind of hip hop thing with a graphic pattern, I’m not really attracted to his hands too bony but what kind of hands am I attracted to?

And there’s the dick -- okay, why not? What’s kind of fun is that you have total control except for that stupid wall, and also of course he could just walk away, which eventually he does, but then here he is coming into my booth. Oh, he’s one of those guys I’ve seen here a bunch of times but I’ve never been attracted to him -- a middle-aged Asian guy who might be a tweaker or he might just be stressed that’s why I’ve never been drawn to him the way he walks around so fast and sometimes grabs, probably explains why he went right into the booth and quickly stuck his dick through before I had a chance to see much more but I was enjoying it enough so now I’m on my knees for the physical sensation that I am attracted to, especially those hands on the back of my head yes those hands put them back but he pulls away to come, there’s a lot of it so white and mine’s yellow, someone asked me once recently if I had hepatitis -- no, it’s always yellow!

I laugh when I stand up, because I almost touch the ceiling, metal like the grates on the street but not as well made. When you’re on your knees you forget how small the space is, he’s already out, rushing away and the place is closing but I’m in the bathroom doing feldenkrais movements for my neck and upstairs the guy is singing to whatever this is something from the disco years and I sing too then up the steepest part of the hill, past the building that has stone sea lions on the stairwell, past the back side of the Mark Hopkins Hotel and then I’m up at the top doing a little jump in the air in the fog for the only car in sight and doing a little twirl, why am I in such a good mood this time? Maybe it’s the new homeopathic remedy, I mean the new dose of the same remedy -- you just add water and then it’s stronger, often that’s not enough but maybe this time?

Reading the announcement that says they want to tear down the tower of the Fairmont, one of the most famous hotels in San Francisco -- but only the ‘60s part -- tearing it down so they can build condos, of course. Here the announcement is laminated -- I’ve never seen that before, usually they just tack it up and then eventually you can’t read it, but this is the top of Nob Hill, so lamination hello! Hello lamination. Hello.

And then into the park with the fountain so I can walk in the grass which makes my feet hurt less something other than cement and this time I decide to try the swing in the sandbox, kind of fun except it’s a bit too low I guess I’m kind of big for a five-year-old. There’s that building someone said was in Vertigo-- it is a nice building, with those balconies I’m sure you can see everything. And everything. Oh and the air yes the air and is the church cathedral whatever it is lit up differently this time or is it just me? I love these moments, all by myself at 3 a.m. except it’s 3 a.m., better head back down to the world before I get too tired.

6 comments:

kayti said...

Doesn't everybody like sucking cock through a hole. Your just joining the rest of us.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Well, I'm glad I have company :)

Love --
mattilda

kayti said...

your in good company

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Yay for good company!

Love --
mattilda

CaroleMcDonnell said...

Sweetie! That is soooo dangerous in this world. Be careful. Yes, I know... Carole with her STD's fears. . . but I've lost too many friends. BE CAREFUL!!!!!!! -C

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Carole, of course there are many dangers in this world, and yes yes one can certainly get STDs from sucking cock, but luckily they are all treatable (oral sex is generally considered extremely low risk for HIV these days)...

Love --
mattilda