Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Your eyelids, and cold hands

Sometimes you wake up there is no waking up you wake up anyway. You put on a CD that you never listen to, you may have never listened to this CD. This CD that tells you how you are supposed to feel, neither sad nor happy and the vocals are better as another instrument and this is how you feel. And then somehow you can breathe, or breathe more, yes there’s the air entering your nostrils a cool feeling, soft like a breeze a breeze in your nostrils there are your eyes, your eyes above your nostrils your eyelids, blink, light, through the windows when you can look at the buildings and see the sky or actually you’re looking out but not at the buildings or sky and this is how you wake up, cold hands in your lap.

You wonder about how anything can become an addiction, maybe that’s what it means to be human, the human experience. Like now, when that calm arrives you wonder if it’s just the amino acids, you just took the amino acids but remember the music, maybe the amino acids and the music, are you addicted to music? But what about the light, the sun, maybe you’re addicted to amino acids, the music, the light, and the sun. And your nostrils, the air in your nostrils, blink, that’s your eyelids, your eyelids and cold hands. Maybe you’re addicted to amino acids, the music, the light, the sun, your nostrils, the air, blink, that’s your eyelids, your eyelids, and cold hands.

You wonder if there was a time when you believed in sleep, believed that sleep would just be sleep. When you used to sleep forever, sleep with the lights on sleep with the sun streaming in the windows sleep with people talking sleep with construction sleep, except then you never felt rested either, different except not different like sleep. You believe in his bed, this bed and the pillows and your body and hope, this bed and the pillows and your body and hope in this bed in this sleep and then you wake up.

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