Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My bag and all those tourists

Okay, the Asian pear was tricky. The first bite, I felt kind of a lift to my head which maybe felt like an allergy, but maybe just because I don’t usually eat pears. Then it felt like too much sugar, but after a few bites it felt calming, soothing even, my head felt clearer, maybe an Asian pear is the answer.

But then: of course there’s then. Then means now, now is less than a minute after then, no now is the same time as then, but less than a minute after maybe. Now, my throat is inflamed, I remember this allergy from childhood, the one where you keep scratching your throat with your tongue but nothing works. My sister described it as hives in her throat, I think it’s the same thing. Oh well -- no more Asian pears. No more pears at all, I guess, since I’ve tried a few different kinds -- some kind of fruit without too much sugar to try at the beginning of the day, to help me get my enzymes. Berries are great, but then they go out of season.

I was just going to tell you how much my biceps hurt from dancing, why my biceps I don’t know, biceps and shoulders I guess, shoulders make more sense. But now, actually there’s less pain -- more allergies, but less pain. Actually, not more allergies, just different ones, because now the air feels fresh again, I just need to work on my throat.

Never mind what I said about the pain. Now it’s back, because I did something, did something with my hands. I picked up the vegetable steamer, to put more water in. Then I picked up one of my plants -- in the pot, I mean -- and I went over to the sink and turned it upside down to empty out any loose soil, because the wind is blowing the soil onto my table, or mostly onto the books and papers on my table, since that’s most of the table, but it bothers me more in the one clear area of the table, where I will put my plate of food, once it’s ready.

At least the throat spray worked, now my throat doesn’t feel so irritated and I still feel somewhere closer to calm, somehow the pear helped with that, the pear helped even though I’m allergic. When I was in bed, I thought: what’s one thing I can do today, one thing to make me feel pleasure and I thought oh, maybe the sea lions, maybe I should go see the sea lions, and my eyes got all wide like a kid so I thought yes, even though I don’t have the energy, except now I really don’t have the energy -- even if I take a cab there, then there’s still the walk down the pier with my bag, my bag and all those tourists and my pain.

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