Thursday, December 10, 2009

How to inhale a whole pot of beans (a recipe):

Start with a very sturdy cooking pot -- we don’t want to burn the house down, okay! The beans are already done, we just want to reheat them. Remember when it always seemed like there was a fire in the Lower Haight, in the early ‘90s -- everyone said it was someone cooking speed, something had gone wrong. There was a lot of speed around then, especially among the people starting those rumors. Anyway, even though you want to use a really sturdy cooking pot, you need to use one of those lids that allows you to let out the steam or close it all in. Those lids generally come with flimsier pots -- just make sure that the lid fits the sturdier pot perfectly and definitely close the opening so that steam stays locked inside. Make sure the heat is on simmer. Forget about it. Go to bed. Don’t worry when you smell something burning -- it’s okay, you’re using a sturdy pot. When you get up, poke a hole in a plastic bag and insert a straw. Tape the plastic bag over the opening of the lid, and then adjust the lid so that the steam exits the pot, fills the plastic bag, and exits through the straw and into your delicious lips. Actually, it’s not steam at all but smoke -- it’s a whole pot of beans, into your lungs. Inhale as deeply as you can-- nutrition is on the way.

4 comments:

Linda said...

Mathilda, hi, I am Linda and found you through Sarah from PearlOfCivilization and this is a delicious blog! I often read it at work between clients but I can't comment from there and I always want to say Wow! You're glorious and thank you, and for Lostmissing, it's all so very good!

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Linda, thank you thank you thank you so much for saying hi -- I love that you read my blog between clients, how fun! And I'm so glad you like lostmissing!!!

Love --
mattilda

stephen said...

this post kinda freaked me out!!!!!

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Hopefully in a good way :)

Love --
mattilda