Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Otherwise people will laugh at you

Okay, so I walk by this tailor all the time, and often the queen inside looks out at me with one of those glances somewhere between disdain and curiosity, years ago I went inside and asked her how much it would be to alter a pair of pants but it was too much and so I’ve never gone back. But now I’ve had too many disasters with another tailor, so I go inside to ask about adding a few buttonholes to a coat I found at Goodwill, and actually she’s friendly, she even says something nice about my clothes are different. But then when I go back to pick up the coat, she’s switched to the buttonholes to the other side, which doesn’t make sense because she measured the other way, I mean it’s not a big deal because all she has to do is move the buttons over, but I don’t really understand. I say how come it buttons this way, she says that’s the way it should be for men’s, otherwise people will laugh at you.

I can’t believe this queen could even take one glance at me and think that I’m worried about people laughing at me because of my fashion. I mean really. And she’s doing that thing where she uses the fact that English isn’t her first language to simultaneously pretend that she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, and to act haughtier. She’s not worried about people laughing at me, she’s worried about people laughing at her. Do you know what I’m saying? She’s one of those queens who’s so proper that she probably thinks she’s passing in some way, but I can guarantee you that no one ever looks at her and thinks anything other than oh, that queen. I leave feeling so annoyed, I mean completely through -- why can’t we just be queens together, keep my buttonholes on the right side or whatever side she thinks is wrong

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