Tuesday, February 09, 2010

A new day

Oh, no -- now it’s every night, this digestive pain, or whatever it is, first just as I’m getting ready to get in bed, so instead I use a hot water bottle and walk around my apartment for an extra hour to try to expel all the burping or make the burping into gas, gas is more comfortable, at least when I’m alone, it doesn’t keep me up. Back in bed, maybe now I’ll be okay, until it’s some horrible hour in the morning and my whole belly is expanding, ouch, too much pain to lie down so I’m back in the kitchen heating up more water for the hot water bottle. Somehow I break the shade pulling it down, isn’t that what the shade is supposed to do?

Here I am on the sofa, hot water bottle on my belly until it isn’t hot anymore and then back into the kitchen for more hot water, more time on the sofa with eye mask to cover the fact that I’m still awake, maybe I can trick myself, until finally the bloating sort of goes away, the pain is still there but my belly feels closer to calm and then I’m back in bed until the time when I usually get up and my face hurts, eyes dried, nose clogged, I’m stumbling in confusion except for the sunlight on the fire escape but then the clouds move in. I make it outside just before dark; walking uphill I feel better, clearer, almost energetic but soon enough I’m tired, back inside for more allergies, allergies and pain, allergies and pain and exhaustion, a new day.

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