Saturday, February 27, 2010


One day, maybe I’ll feel better. Can we mark that day on the calendar, please? I mean, not just one day of feeling better, but the day when it all moves. What day is that, again?

Sometimes I wonder why I even try to feel better, if all that ends up happening is that I feel worse. Sometimes I feel better, but then I feel worse. Today I went out and got a cream from the acupuncturist that you rub around your arteries and it absorbs into the blood and I was worried about this cream because it contains so many ingredients, including preservatives and synthetic fragrance, but actually it doesn’t smell too strong at all, and when I rubbed it into the arteries I felt a slight burst of energy and then I thought okay, maybe this will help.

I’m always looking for what will help. I’m always looking, like now when I look outside and the sun is out after rain and the light is astonishing, the clouds pink, white and blue more than grey, shifting slightly to the left, East I guess, and the buildings are shadowing one another, even the shadow on the Federal Building, where does that shadow come from? But the clouds, puffy and slow, shifting so slightly.

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