Thursday, June 10, 2010

Trying

What’s worse than waking up hours before I’m supposed to, just because there’s a time when I’m supposed to get up, an hour or two before usual, but then I wake up every half hour thinking I’ve overslept? Or, actually, I kind of stay awake, so even when I’m sleeping I’m thinking about whether I overslept. There’s this dream where I look at the clock and it says 9 am, music instead of a beep, and then I get back in bed and fall asleep -- wait, was that a dream, or did it happen? I wake myself up, just to make sure that didn’t really happen: 6 am.

Oh, I know what’s worse -- when my belly is in contortions all night, the bloating, burping to try to release it but it just stays stuck. What caused it this time? Maybe I ate too late, but I got home from sucking this guy’s cock, walking to and from his house with that blast down my throat in between and wow, walking out of his house I just felt so sexually present like this should always continue, from one to the other, but then after a few blocks I was exhausted again, and when I got home I felt like I’d better eat, just in case I was too exhausted to fall asleep. But what if it was his come that’s causing this bloating -- I mean, it definitely wasn’t what I usually eat. The hottest part was when he kind of said take my load but it was quiet like he wasn’t sure he wanted to say it out loud but he wanted to, or maybe he didn’t want to mess up his concentration, and then. And then here I am again, in bed in all this pain, trying to sleep.

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