Saturday, June 05, 2010

What they have to offer

Okay, so I’m lying in the dentist’s chair, thinking about all this pain no let’s not think about the pain let’s think of it as stimulating my nerve endings, the nerve endings in my gums, this is just a cleaning but wow does it hurt -- I don’t think he’s drilling, but why does it hurt so much? I guess I waited two years, instead of coming back in six months. At least I get up every 10 or 15 minutes to stretch, that helps a lot, and then afterwards when I walk outside my gums still definitely hurt, but I do feel calmer. Maybe it’s the 6 pm light, I do love this light. Now, when I go on a walk early in the day, a short walk because I’m too tired for anything more than a few blocks, but when I go on that walk it’s so bright out I get a headache. Really. Maybe that’s why people wear sunglasses. Or maybe I already had a headache, and it just gets worse. Another day to get through, to get through so that I can figure out how to deal with the bloating again. Another night of trying to sleep through the discomfort -- wait, should I get up? Do I have to get up?

Well, I’ve ordered purified water for delivery -- we’ll see if that helps. Although, if it’s the fluoride in the water that’s making me sick, then it’s been making me sick for a long long time, right? Two healthcare appointments coming up: one holistic, one conventional. I’m worried about the conventional one, I gastroenterologist -- will they want me to get some horrible procedure that will end up giving me more pain but no new knowledge? Will I have to explain everything to them, while they refuse to understand anything? I’m desperate enough to see what they have to offer.


kayti said...

let us know what happens

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

I will!

Love --