Saturday, July 10, 2010

For now

Sometimes I have absolutely no idea what makes me feel better or worse. Absolutely no idea. Like today, when I don’t necessarily sleep better -- maybe I even sleep worse -- and I wake up with a horrible cramp in my belly, of course, but somehow I don’t feel as awful as the last few days. I actually feel like something has lifted a bit in my head, I mean I still have a sinus headache but I don’t feel so weighed down that even making a phone call, any phone call, feels like a challenge.

Sometimes tiny little things help, like on the phone asking for health advice and this practitioner says something about how it takes time, for some people things change fast but it doesn’t seem like it’ll be that way for you, remember to be patient. Of course that’s a cliché, but somehow today it feels comforting. Because I’ve made all these dramatic changes recently, and mostly I feel worse, but that’s also something that happens before you feel better, right?

It’s hard not to feel overwhelmed when I feel so overwhelmed. Let me think about some of the things that I’ve changed. My sleep schedule is the most dramatic one -- I’ve been going to bed at 10 or 11 pm for the last month and a half or so, and that hasn’t happened since junior high I don’t think. I’m able to stop eating two hours before bed on most nights, and I don’t get so hypoglycemic that I can’t sleep at all -- for the last five or 10 years I think I’ve eaten almost right before bed, just because that’s been the only way I can sleep, so that’s a big change too. I’m finally drinking non-fluoridated water. And, I cut out all the supplements I’ve been taking that contain magnesium stearate or stearic acid, which I just learned are hydrogenated oils, and we all know how well my body deals with even a healthy oils, I mean I can barely deal at all. Oh -- and, four months ago I cut out all the foods that came up in my allergy test.

All these big changes, and I feel worse. Except today, maybe. I mean I still feel exhausted. Right now actually I can sense that I’m crashing, the sinus headache is getting worse, I have to lie down. And this is before acupuncture, which usually drains me. That’s why I haven’t gone for a treatment in a while. Today I’m hoping that it doesn’t drain me. I know I’m crashing, but even just a few hours where my head felt more open feels like an accomplishment, I’ll take that for now.

2 comments:

Kay said...

When I cut all fats & oils out of my diet in order to loose weight I developed colitis or irritable bowel syndrome or leaky guy syndrome. One of those. A range of foods would then trigger chronic stomach and bowel problems.

A natural health book recommended cold pressed flax seed oil to repair the damage to my gut - some minerals are fat soluble and by going without oils I had altered my digestive balance. I bought some and tried having one teaspoon a day. Three weeks later my digestive problems were way less.

I now start the day with a small quantity of grapefruit juice followed by 5 or 6 almonds then a fish oil capsule. I have only low levels of wheat and dairy and I'm mostly fine.

Obviously I'm not you, but if you're having digestive problems and have no fats or oils in your diet it may be worth re-visiting that decision.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Kay, thanks for your advise -- I agree, of course, that healthy oils are absolutely essential. I, unfortunately, can't digest them at all -- I'm always trying to add them in wherever possible, but usually they trigger the exact symptoms that you're talking about remedying, oh no!

I was anorexic as a teenager, and for at least five years I didn't eat anything at all that I knew contained fat, so sometimes I wonder if my body forgot how to digest oils -- if only there were an easy solution now!

Love --
mattilda