Thursday, September 09, 2010

To say something

Here’s my life, today: I succeed at bringing a stool sample into the lab. A stool sample? Yes, a stool sample. That’s after the feldenkrais CD that allows me to feel my face, when I walk over to the lab there’s more weight on my feet, I’m walking differently, this is interesting. Then I’m home, trying not to read because it will hurt my body again but what about just a few pages? A few pages later, and now I’m back to where I was before the feldenkrais CD, all this pain in my arms, just a few pages, maybe it was reading about a dog killing a hedgehog and the blood splattering the tree -- I don’t like reading about killing. I don’t even like writing about reading about it, not even that one sentence, but the book was so good. I mean it is so good, but I don’t like the way Eileen watches the dog kill a hedgehog, right that’s the part I really don’t like. I don’t mean critically -- for this moment I’m just talking about my reaction, which isn’t about the book it’s about my reaction to the action in the book. It’s a novel. Now I’m tired again. I was tired before. Now I’m tired and sad. I was tired and sad before.

Reading this new Eileen Myles book, I started wanting that Patti Smith Just Kids book again, because it takes place at the same time -- the 1970s in New York -- and probably includes some of the same people. I was wondering about the different ways each of them represents this period, although I did start the Patti Smith book at one point in a store, and she talks about how when she heard about the death of Robert Mapplethorpe suddenly a Tosca opera or something like that came on the TV, or something totally ridiculous and hackneyed like that and you know she’s lying because she doesn’t even say I know this is the most hackneyed and ridiculous thing, but this Tosca opera suddenly came on TV. So I thought okay, this book must be crap, but that didn’t necessarily make me less curious -- it’s about her relationship with Mapplethorpe, which I never knew about, and I guess that’s maybe one of the reasons she wrote the book.

Okay, time to lie down again and stretch, stretch to try to limit this pain, then maybe I’ll take a shower and go out to look for the Patti Smith book, there’s no point in looking for it used anymore because it’s one of those books that everyone’s using, not used yet, or used so fast you can’t find it but of course I can find it new, those are the books you can always find new. Yesterday I got lucky, went to the used bookstore to find another Eileen Myles book that takes place in the ‘70s that she talks about in this book, and there it was at Aardvark -- I love the way they don’t watch you at all at that store, no sensors or paranoia they don’t care whether you might steal or if they do care they don’t bother trying to stop you, which is the way used bookstores should be, it’s not like anything cost them more than a few dollars, and then their prices are pretty fair too and I like going up to the register where you have to say something to them to get them to look up from whatever they’re reading.

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