Monday, January 03, 2011


All these chirping birds, even in the freezing cold -- I keep wondering about these birds, how do they do it? It’s harder to take a walk at night when it’s 7 degrees out, but I guess today it’s 20, so that’s almost warm, right? Oh, my -- it’s treacherous out here. No one shovels the sidewalks, and only the big streets are plowed -- everything else goes back and forth between snow and ice, a little cement or asphalt here and there but what am I doing walking so far? I guess I wanted to get somewhere I hadn’t seen yet, here’s a cute park all snowed in, pine trees and benches and oh, there’s Alta Vista where the boy who wanted to be friends lives, I mean the boy who probably didn’t want to be friends and that’s why he said so, or maybe he wanted to be friends at that moment but the strange thing is that instead of fresh air I just smell the smoke from everyone’s chimneys, and then in the park it smells like cologne even though there aren’t any footprints at all, How could that be possible? And that’s when I realize oh no, it’s not just logs that are burning, but scented logs -- that’s why sometimes it smells like someone sprayed Glade on my windowsill

On the way back, I’m walking in the street because it isn’t as slippery, but also I have to be on the lookout for cars, walking faster and faster because I’m so far away, so exhausted it’s so cold that it doesn’t even feel like my mittens are working, somewhere I have a pair for hiking in the mountains or something but I never wear those because they’re huge although I should look for them for these nighttime walks, right? There’s my place up ahead, finally, and inside smells like everyone’s chimneys, maybe I should close my windows but it’s already in here but yes, at least my walk distracted me from the rash on my hands, a rash from the dryness or the cold I guess and I keep putting everything I can think of on it -- shea butter, fresh aloe right from the plant, aloe from a bottle, calendula salve, calendula in olive oil, some ayurvedic salve that smells too much like vetiver, too strong again, I mean the smell’s too strong, stopped that one, moisturizer, the aloe made it burn more, not just the calendula salve, no not the calendula salve the calendula in olive oil, but at least after my walk it’s not burning like before, maybe circulation is what I need, until I get in bed and start to warm up, and then my hands burn again.