Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Not to notice

The honeymoon is over: I have no energy, and a new health problem. This rash in my hands, burning at night, in my feet too, toes swollen almost together. From the dryness I’m guessing -- the dryness inside, today it’s not even dry outside, snow flurries for a moment, 69% humidity it said when I looked. But I can’t go on another walk -- I’m too tired. I went on my second walk when it was still light, the way I like it best but often don’t manage, made it to a bank but I was too tired to go inside to find out what they offered, a credit union, I’m trying to transfer my money to a small local bank. Then I decided I did have enough energy, since I was there, so I went inside where it felt just as alienating as any bank, less upscale. I got some information.

I need to find some healthcare practitioners who I trust here -- I have feldenkrais, but that’s all. Tomorrow I’m talking to the homeopath in San Francisco, will that help with this rash? Now that I think about it, I wish I had my homeopathy book available -- there is probably an acute remedy that would help. But that’s somewhere it accessible in my one of my twenty-something boxes of books. Oh, the books -- the last thing to organize: first I need shelves with glass doors, I guess I’m going to order them from the Swedish sweatshop, since I can’t find them anywhere else. But what happened to my energy? I mean, I was tired before, but not tired like this, tired in the way that everything feels draining, the end of the day comes and I’m just waiting to get in bed, my hands and feet are burning, what can I do not to notice? Suddenly the burning gets worse, in that way that means I have to yell, then grit my teeth, move away from the computer.

But wait -- I’ve written the contents of all my boxes on a list, glamorous list, and guess what? Books -- Health is box number two, relatively convenient under box number one which I can push so that it falls against the wall and then yes, I am actually able to locate the homeopathy books, search for rashes, apparently any rash coming from an internal cause and not contact is atopic dermatitis, also known as eczema, at least according to this book, which also says that eczema is a chronic condition and should be treated constitutionally, contact a homeopath. Well, I guess I did that.

Oh -- and they also say to avoid bathing too much, which I’m trying although it’s annoying not to shave, then my face starts to itch but not in the way my hands are burning, why did they get worse when I went back to the computer, maybe because it’s hotter and drier over here, time to go back to the kitchen table with the humidifier nearby, just got it yesterday and it says it lasts for 55 hours but then the one I put by my bed was off by the time I woke up, I mean out of water, maybe that one doesn’t really do anything because it’s right by the open window anyway, I’m not sure but ouch, my hands, I better move away.

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