Wednesday, January 19, 2011

One of the problems

I will push through this sinus headache to try to tell you about something before, my walk on the way, exciting to go in a different direction, hadn’t thought of this one really, but I discover Jake’s Upholstery, and the building with letters on the windows that read “HAND FOR HAND ARE,” a raised sidewalk with steps to walk up like you see in places with rivers that historically flood, I can’t imagine that happening here. And I might as well tell you that once I finally feel like I have a libido, something coming from deep inside and not just surface to try and escape, well that’s when I want to keep it so I’m heading over to this guy’s house because he wants someone to suck his dick while he's blindfolded and I don’t know anything about what he looks like really, the only thing he said was 30, and we already know that 30 is the new 29, or maybe what 29 means in San Francisco, an uncreative fiction, but he actually gave me his phone number and his voice was queeny on the phone, here’s his house, in back of another house, brand-new Santa Fe realness -- classic adobe, they say.

Then I’m in the wrong porn video, big screen TV, blindfold that can’t possibly do much, poppers, tanning salon nudity, all hair plucked, why am I doing this except that I’m here, like turning a trick without money but I guess so many experiences will always feel that way and it’s quick, the house is like a showroom, small but spotless and bright but why has his voice changed to dude talk, at least I get to pet a cute cat afterwards, have a nice day.

Or, even before, someone posted about Borders at lunch, a full nude picture which seemed pretty bold and when I replied to him he replied “Omg you are incredible,” which sounded promising, so that’s what I said, and eventually he sent a real picture, admitted the earlier picture wasn’t him but someone at least 20 years younger and even a different race, strange there because he’s white but I guess we see his attractions, and I appreciate the apology, humans online are rare, I mean human-like behavior instead of what we’re conditioned to accept, everything we hate and I guess that’s called human too, and maybe that’s one of the problems.


Sloan Lesbowitz said...

"at least I get to pet a cute cat afterwards" HILARIOUS! At least you know how to make the best of the situation.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Thank you, my dear -- and yes, it *was* a cute cat...

Love --