Monday, January 24, 2011

That kind of focus

Oh, no -- I’m sick. Usually I like to say that I’m fighting away the emergence of a cold, but last night in bed there was so much pain in my gut that I could barely sleep, so I guess it’s a relief that maybe that’s because of the cold, hopefully a 24-hour flu. Strange the way I want to sit in different chairs in my apartment when I’m sick, the sofas by the window that I rarely sit on -- at least I got to Whole Foods, bought some greens so that I don’t run out, felt like an accomplishment and then I thought about how grateful I am that I chose such a perfect location, found such a great place to live. Even though I’m sinking into loneliness, the kind that makes it hard to call people if they haven’t called back, I don’t have enough energy to pursue. At least when I’m sick, I don’t feel tempted to cruise online, or wait I do feel a little bit tempted but I catch myself: no reason to go there. No reason to go there at all, really, but anyway now I’m feeling dizzy, kind of want to watch a movie but I don’t know if I have that kind of focus.

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