Saturday, February 26, 2011

Dreaming something else

Dreams where I’m going back to my high school, oh high school -- at least this time I’ve already graduated, going back to look for something, what is it exactly? Something heavily coded Jewish, I’m looking through albums of some sort in this huge room at the top of some high-rise, that’s high school I guess, sparkling in the sun and then I’m looking at stacks of laminated photos or art, does everyone in the school have a lamination machine now? My sister’s apartment is next door, she’s a senior and I’m looking at the art on her walls, a piece by my grandmother set into a deep frame, glass on all sides and the piece is like flowers rising up, red and pink paper forms in five parts, three-dimensional shapes rising up and then there’s another one on a different wall, a different shape, maybe four flowers instead of five but the same idea and I love the way they echo each other, but then the main two walls in her apartment are almost empty and I wonder about that.

Then I’m upstairs on the roof or maybe this is San Francisco, yes kind of downstairs too in an alcove of light and Chris is telling me that when he gets really depressed he shuts people out, doesn’t realize until afterwards, and as the sun shifts in different ways -- the kitchen of my apartment on Fillmore, Chris’s kitchen on Woodward Alley, the backyard of that place on Haight Street, maybe the roof of the apartment on Sycamore -- I’m trying to think about whether this means we’ll have a relationship again, and when I wake up I wonder about this kind of dream, yes it feels calming when I’m sleeping, but then when I wake up and I know it will never happen, I wonder whether I should be dreaming something else.

No comments: