Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The dryness I came here for

Wait, this air purifier is really giving me energy. At first I thought it would be too much work to roll it in from my bedroom, but then I started to smell those terrible fireplaces, so I brought it in and maybe a half-hour later I started thinking: I wonder why suddenly I’m feeling better. Maybe it was the book I was reading. But then I remembered oh, the air purifier, I think it’s that.

Strangely, in my much smaller bedroom -- tiny, actually -- the air purifier doesn’t seem to help as much. I mean, I can’t keep it on the highest setting because then it’s too loud to sleep, and if I close the window and door then I get too warm. I don’t know if either of those things relate, but anyway, it hasn’t helped yet in the bedroom, but somehow in this huge living room open to the whole rest of the house, it does seem to help. At least right now. For now, I will take now, right?

But yeah, in bed it’s not helping -- I wake up with this terrible headache, what is it from? Maybe it’s the dryness, it’s possible the air purifier makes my apartment dryer. Yes, the hygrometer says the humidity is 20%, which really means is much lower, since for some reason this thing only measures down to 20%. Maybe I’ll turn up the humidifier tonight, but when it’s on high it floods the floor and runs out of water. If I could find a stand to put it on, that might help the humidity to reach my nostrils -- at the moment it’s on the floor, because otherwise I’m worried it will cause mold to grow on whatever wet piece of wooden furniture it sits on. All these hazards from trying to find health, the story of my life, and yes the pain in my right shoulder is continuing, hurts when I lie on my right side, hurts when I read or chop vegetables or write something with the pen, hurts when I reach for anything. At least I see the feldenkrais practitioner tomorrow, hopefully that will help.

And I want to say something about the way sex comes up in my head when I’m most exhausted, searching for escape and now that I’m banned from cruising online I can’t even search, really, I mean not when I’m this exhausted, which might be a good thing. Except I’m always on the verge of becoming this exhausted -- so so rarely do I have enough energy to even conceive of going over to the porn shop or something like that. Oh, here comes that headache again -- is it allergies, or the air purifier? But right -- the dryness again, the dryness I came here for, I better put more water in the humidifier.

No comments: