Wednesday, April 06, 2011

A really nice shade of purple

But wait -- I almost forgot to tell you about the theater at Arcade News. Randy calls to find out when they’re open, and they say 24 hours, but really? I mean the theater theater, not the video booths, but anyway Sunday is gay night, which I guess means gay porn, since it’s not like there’s anyone there for, well, you know. But anyway, guess what? The theater is a bit disappointing. I was expecting someplace with ragged red carpet and gushy seats that you want to avoid, some kind of stage and antiquated details if nothing else, maybe a bit of faded 1970s flair, but no, guess what? 11 seats. Not really a theater, but a screening room. Black floors and walls. A place in the back for group action, I guess -- if there’s ever a group in this room, which seems hard to imagine. Oh, well -- back to the video booths, where there’s one queen who seems a bit more adventurous than the crowd last time, opening her door to jiggle her ass, naked, not quite my type, as they say, and then I catch her looking through some kind of hole in one of the booths to see into another, that sounds kind of fun, or not that fun, because I’m still sitting in my booth, watching straight porn because that’s pretty much all they have -- this one with a tall shirtless guy with an expensive chest, muscular but not puffy, approaching a giggling blonde blowing bubbles in a park, how old are you? 18. Are you sure? I am -- here’s my ID.

I keep waiting for the guy to take off the rest of his clothes, but first he’s pouring baby oil on the blonde’s ass, gyrating for the camera and okay I’m bored, where’s Randy, oh good coming out of that booth, not the one I thought she was in, she must have switched to the one next door, did you have sex with anyone? I guess so. Was it fun? I don’t know.

Now we’re back in the screening room, I mean the theater, just to see, still no one there, and when we head towards the rack of vintage paperbacks in the front with titles like Sex-Fiend Fireman and Chicago Sex Condo and even Sister Sailor, no way -- and what was the one about the Sheik? We’re browsing for gifts and some big brutish blonde guy with a shaved head walks in, tells the attendant it’s his first time, maybe we should wait a moment for my boyfriend, but no he’s just browsing every item of straight imagery in the room, eyes moving quickly pass anything gay. Oh, but then some guy walks in while the slutty one from inside is exiting, and they start a conversation excitedly in Spanish, doesn’t look like any shame, that’s cute. Even cuter -- we get a little purple plastic bag for our books, I mean usually I would just reject the bag immediately, no need for more waste, but this is a really nice shade of purple.

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