Tuesday, April 05, 2011

The view from the street

Well, I don’t feel dramatically worse -- so that’s a good sign. Way better than I expected -- way better than the doctor expected too, I think. I guess when she talked to the lab, the guy there said I should just tough it out. What great advice! Exactly how I got this horrible place where I am now -- I mean that’s when the fibromyalgia pain started, at least. When I was writing a bike all the time in Provincetown, and I got this pain in my wrist but I just thought okay, it’s a new muscle. Until I couldn’t hold the handlebars anymore. Why do people insist on that stupid messaging?

And the doctor said something about how I could do much worse, could I? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of these trials and tribulations, all of these attempts to get better over the last 20 years, it’s that yes, I could always feel worse. Much worse.

Today I did wake up with horrible bloating, and I do think I’m getting more exhausted and sad since starting the medication, but it’s not worse than my usual worse, you know how it goes back and forth, and so hopefully it’s helping too and it’s funny, today I got up and went outside to sit out in the sun, and the car that Randy and I rented was gone, a big ugly minivan so that I would have enough room to not be in too much pain, but anyway I kind of missed that car. Sure, the way it blocked the view from the street, so I had a little more privacy -- I understand why everyone loves their walls in this town, because otherwise you’re just right there, people walk by and here I am in my boxers and sunhat, although I guess I haven’t seen anyone else in boxers and sun hat, rarely even anyone else out front in their yards, but I guess that will change when it gets warmer.

And of course I miss Randy and our adventures, driving around to find another gorgeous place, I mean all you have to do is drive a few minutes and then oh, let’s turn on that street, and then you’re right in the midst of some stunning view, red earth and quartz rocks crumbling into another desert landscape of dead trees and the strangest things growing and the mountains right there and look, just look -- more desert adventures, please.

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