Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New adventures, I hope...

Things I’ll miss about Denver: buses that actually take me where I want to go. Living right by a real bookstore, where I can go inside and browse all I want, find articles in magazines that I wouldn’t know about, look at new and used books, sit down at actual tables and chairs, use the bathroom, wander around, kind of get lost. There is no real bookstore in Santa Fe, as far as I’m concerned. There are serious limitations to the Tattered Cover in terms of their ordering, but I’ll get to that later, if I can just find that piece of paper where I wrote everything down. What else will I miss? Thrift stores that I can get to without getting a ride, and get home too. At least one great record store. Maybe seeing people out on the street, although these aren’t really the people I want to see anyway.

I will not miss the terrible air, the ugly buildings, the way everything is so flat, uniform, grid-like. Maybe I’ll miss the view of the mountains from this balcony, and the way this apartment actually stays cool during the day. But I’m looking forward to hearing all those birds in the morning, going on walks where everything seems beautiful or maybe not everything, but where there’s beauty that I don’t need to look for. I’m ready for fresh air, although I’m not sure how much I’ll get of it, with all the fire I mean. I’m ready to be back home, whatever that is, even if relatively soon I’ll be getting ready to leave I guess. I’m ready to be back home, so that I can get ready to leave. No – I’m ready to be back home, so I can feel like I’m home.

I’m not looking forward to the dryness, that’s for sure. At least I tried it – now I know that the desert air doesn’t help me, at least not in any way that I can sense. Might even make things worse. In Denver at least I only have to put moisturizer on my hands a few times a day. Maybe I’ll even miss the humidity, as much as I’ve always hated humidity, but yes I’m ready to be back in that tiny town, going on my familiar walks, feeling familiar comforts and loneliness no I’m not ready for loneliness, familiar or unfamiliar, but still.

Oh – and I’ll miss my new friends in Denver, and this anarcho-queer world that certainly doesn’t exist in Santa Fe at all. But, I’m also ready to be back with my new old friends, ready for all that space and sky and adobe and new adventures in the high desert, here’s to new adventures…

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