Monday, August 08, 2011

Something that calmed me

Well, I just got off the phone with Jessica, talking about how naps always make me feel worse, don't take them unless I can hardly form a sentence but now I think I'm ready for a nap. I'm not having trouble with sentences, just with an unbearable sadness surrounding me, exhaustion pushing my head closed. I went on my morning walk already – before I even ate anything, and it's true that I have more energy than, before I've eaten, wasn't sure if physical energy too or just in my head but the walk was twice as long as usual, through the dirt alleys and the sun wasn't as hot or there was more shade and then when I looked at the houses in the light there was something that calmed me.

Don't feel calm now, just destroyed. Guess it's time for bed, for a little while at least.

4 comments:

kayti said...

I can't wait for this week to end so I can see the beautiful artwork you sent me. Thanks so much.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Yay!!!

Love –
mattilda

Claire Cramer said...

I feel the same way about naps, or I should say, I did until I learned to manipulate them. My first movement towards this understanding was the graceful nap, when one drifts off without planning and awakens refreshed, somehow escaping the attendant crankiness that seems like a punishment. I say graceful because luck like that seems a state of grace.

mattilda bernstein sycamore said...

Claire, that sounds lovely – no such luck for me – although, I will say, sometimes a feldenkrais lesson feels that way…

Love –
mattilda