Sunday, September 04, 2011

A baby stroller

This is so weird: why do I study every guy walking by with a baby stroller, analyzing his facial expression and gestures as if maybe he's the one, the man of my dreams?! I don't even like babies (although I am concerned for their well-being, their eventual autonomy), and seriously, there are no fags with baby strollers in Santa Fe -- maybe it's just that there are so few people walking around in Santa Fe at all. But wait – here he is again, the one that stimulated this thought process, bouncing by with sensitive hair, gray T-shirt and khakis – maybe it's that bounce, that bounce in his legs like he's excited about something, this baby, this baby and me, right?

No, I don't want a baby – I want to be, be my baby! Maybe he will wheel me around in that stroller with all that sensitive masculinity and I'll never have to worry about anything else in the world, as they say, yes, the world but it won't be this one, anymore.

There are a lot of attractive straight couples here in my neighborhood, I mean if straight couples can be attractive, which I guess I'm saying they are, sometimes, at least when I'm walking around and there's no one I mean no one until wait, up ahead – an attractive straight couple! And I study the way the guy looks at me, just in case, which really doesn't make sense, except that where are the objects of my desire in this goddamn town? There aren't any gay couples in this demographic, 30-something and slightly trendy in their comfort, I mean there aren't really gay male couples here except people much older and anyway, if a gay couple walked by that I was attracted to, they probably wouldn't even respond to my hello, just some snotty look of studied disengagement I'm sure -- some of the straight couples actually look excited when I walk by.

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