Friday, September 02, 2011

The fog, again

Oh, the worst thing is this brain fog – I sit down to write something, and then suddenly it's gone, just like that: my brain, where is it? I mean, I can feel my head, ache, but help, get me out of the fog! Or help, get these thoughts out from the other side, the other side of what? Help – I can't remember!

Well, now that the parasites are gone, and with them my fragile fragile grasp on something like balance, was it really, really balance? I wish, but whatever it was, better than whatever is now, and now I have some glamorous dysbiotic flora to add to the picture – Citrobacter freundi, doesn't the lady sound lovely? Caused by – you guessed it – the medication! And, a little bit of splendid yeast growing in my intestines, but the good news is that I can treat both of these new friends with grapefruit seed extract, which doesn't seem to be affecting me in too much of a negative way. I don't think, except maybe this fog, help, the fog!

Okay, here's the headache from all this dangerous thinking, time to take a break I guess, a break from trying to make sense. Oh, but I didn't like what Wheels said: it hasn't been that long. That long since I talk before about medication that destroys people who don't have so many health problems already – five months? Five months of hell! But true, in the long run, five months is just five months, right? I just wish I felt like something, anything was getting better, I mean yes, my vitamin D has gone up since I've been taking the shots, that's what it says in my blood work, but really what I mean is that I just wish I felt like I was getting better, like something was getting better, I mean I wish I could feel, feel better, right, that's what I'm trying to say! But I'm pushing too hard, ouch this headache, I better go.

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