Sunday, January 15, 2012

Something bombastic

Classic: I sat down at the computer to write this wide-ranging and flowing, bustling and booming – bombastic, even – maybe even bombastic piece about media and gender and explosion, but then. But then all the energy was gone. Is gone. Just this cloudy head, thinking where, where did it go?

Or even: what was that? I mean, I woke up excited, excited about this prepublication book launch today – Santa Fe, better show up at 2 pm at op cit books next door to Counter Culture, okay? So I want to hold on to that excitement – so often people ask me if I'm excited, and the truth is that I'm not. I mean I'm too exhausted, too exhausted to be excited.

So I woke up today thinking yes, this work is important – I'm excited. And now it's gone. I want to hold on to it, but it's gone. Maybe I can bring it back. I mean I know I'll bring it back at the launch, but I want it to be something that builds and doesn't just crash. Something that flows from energy and not just push. Something that holds me when I'm holding it, holding me holding it, holding and now I need to eat.

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